Can't Mask Feelings When It Comes to Art

Yesterday I went back to one of my absolute new FAVORITE cafes, Kopi Cafe, to pick up some Buddha relics to use in future paintings and some coffee - NOTHING ELSE. I was on a mission and sticking to most of it. I have been there three times since artist  Anne Leuck Feldhaus introduced me a couple weeks ago. They have a wonderful boutique in the back and delicious everything else in the front. 

I picked up what I needed (along with a few other wonderful found things to use, :), and proceeded to sit down with my coffee. It was early and practically had the cafe to myself. As soon as I did, I "happened" to look up and behind and saw this beautiful wood carved mask amongst some other masks:

I kept staring at it and the more I did, the more this one said TAKE ME HOME with you. Was it because I wasn't wearing any make-up and thought I needed it?  There is prosperity carved in the middle of his forehead. The price was very reasonable, it was compatible with some of my other things, and I liked that it was hand carved, natural and the only one.  It was not made from a mold. I can rationalize and justify anything.

Oh, I bought it and he is in my home waiting to be hung. Twenty four hours later, I have no buyers remorse, no guilt, like I sometimes do with other things. I value and appreciate art. Feeds my soul and I don't have to feed his. Just dust occassionally.

There is a reason I intentionally and deliberately stay out of Anti-Cruelty Society and dog shelters. Can you imagine? I know better right now.

Now back to my to-do list and I'm sticking to it. Yeah, right.

Durga & Me

Throughout the entire "process" of creating my wall art, I had subconsciously been hoping that something could/would emerge to find its way into a "product line" and have some marketability.  I am enjoying all the new work that I am currently producing, which feels terrific. All the while feeling the pressure of my thinking-business helmet weighing on me. Ouch. I want to create in order to be a full fledged business again. 

Looking at my inspirational body of work thus far, I believe I found a start- Mantra Art. Using Hindu deities, Buddhas, and any symbols/figures I can find, along with healing stones such as rose quartz, moss agate, crystals, and an accompanying mantra, you have a feel good and healing piece of inspirational art. My latest features the Hindu goddess Durga, with sodalite which promotes spiritual harmony and is a source of artistic inspiration.

Durga is the mother of the universe and is believed to be the power behind the work of creation, preservation and destruction of the world. Hindus believe she protects her devotees from the evils of the world and at the same time removes their miseries.

Especially from a photographic perspective. The photos of these paintings, pardon my Hindi, truly truly suck, which is why all my work is being professionally shot next week. I'm sharing my present misery with you. Durga to the rescue. These are not the final versions either. I tweaked this painting and Lakshmi again after seeing how they came across. That is a process I will continue.

Lakshmi & Me

 

When I start a painting, or any new creation, I rarely have a clear plan or design. Just a blank canvas staring back saying DO SOMETHING with me. I rely on some spontaneity, and/or request some help from a Muse or a symbolic deity when I need help to achieve a goal. This is probably the one thing that I do in my life that truly keeps me present. I take that back. There's yoga.

Recently I requested and utilized some symbolic energy from a resin figure I bought of the Hindu deity Lakshmi. She is the goddess of wealth, prosperity (both material and spiritual), light, wisdom, fortune, fertility, generosity and courage, AND the embodiment of beauty, grace, and charm. Is that too much ask?

I started painting on my 8"x8" cradled wood canvas, incorporating an earlier unsold painting. I'm presently in the process in re-purposing. You can get DO OVERS in art.

I was off to a fairly decent start, so I thought.

.

As I continued, I was liking it less and less. With some more obsessive work, painting the recycled canvas again and adding some magenta flowers, I decided to end on this note:

 Copyright 2012 Marilyn Grad

Next stop, gathering up all my new creations to get professionally shot and posted on my website.  Lakshmi, I'm depending on you. I have art to market and sell.

It's More Than Black and White

The reality of living an artist lifestyle is not easy.  It definitely is a CHOICE, a calling, a passion and my goal. And by no means is it all black and white. 

I am admittedly getting better at learning and doing what it takes to live an artist's life, albeit between a full time job. I continually surround myself with resources and tools to help me understand what is natural, normal and avoidable. 

I constantly work with the truly gray, or I what I consider the real COLORFUL matter in between. (I have a great hair colorist for that other gray matter!!- truth's out now.) I embrace the emotional and financial highs; accept the business, emotional/ego and financial lows (kinda); sometimes/always compare myself to others; always admire, am inspired and learn from other artists; seek creative challenges and strive to work through my constraints and limitations to get me to level I want to achieve.

I work out of my apartment. With my limited space, I am surrounded by the sight of unsold box inventory. It is hard to look and not have it take on the appearance of failure and expense. On the plus side, I can see the wonderful progress I've made over the years and take advantage of what worked. I have the luxury of painting over all that work to create something new. That is precisely what I have done with the boxes shown on this post. I have also managed to finagle my way out of the box with my wall art and mixed media creations. 

What definitely IS BLACK AND WHITE: 

• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

• Spend time alone every day. 

• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

AND these rejuvenated decorative, individually hand painted and very functional boxes:

My Secret Word for 2012

Five days into the new year with my 2012 intentions practically ready to go, I decided I needed a word to hold and help me fulfill what I want to accomplish. I could keep it a secret but I thought otherwise. Ready?  My secret word to help me personally, artistically and professionally in 2012 is PASSION. I want to really live it, feel it, see it,create it, read it and hear it. To think, last years posted word was vulnerability. Yep, I definitely want passion this year.

To help me launch my passion for 2012, AND fulfill a new goal of writing a new post every two weeks at the latest, I again refer to the Yo Yo Ma tribute performance from the Kennedy Center 2011 Honors. The inspiration I got and get from watching and listening  to this particular eclectic gathering is a beautiful emotional high. 

Every time I see or hear artists of any and every medium performing, enjoying and successfully living their passion, I grow a A LOT MORE INSPIRED, a bit more empowered and a tad more jealous- the constructive kind. 

In this particular tribute performance, there are several genres of music-Classical, Bluegrass, Asian (Silk Road Project-a personal favorite), and Pop, many immensely talented and trained musicians of all ages and backgrounds, on one stage, displaying their infectious passion and reverence to an amazing individual.  They love what they are doing, they connect with the music, each other and the audience. I wish the same for my work. Notice how the audience reacts and responds. An artist's dream:

To sum up, I have a quote from Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men in Tights which I love:

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Depends on what you're looking at."

(or listening to, or painting, or writing, or personally speaking, pursuing )

Tis the Reason and Season

As 2011 comes to a close, my last post in this space is going to be somewhat of a hodge podge. The reason: this time of year is not one of my favorites. That said, I was not sure  what to put in this space without being a killjoy. I finally decided on some music, some artistic self-promotion, a goal, and some inspiration to take into 2012. 

First, a Christmas carol brought to you by the brilliant cast and writers of Shameless on Showtime (it takes place in Chicago; fun that I got to meet some of the cast):

Next, some new wall art. And with lots more shameless self promotion, I aim to gain more traction and audience in 2012 and beyond:

Marilyn Grad Copyright 2011

And finally some inspiration and a bit of unsolicited advice. I've been reflecting on 2011 and putting together my goals and plans for 2012 (some new, some still to be met). Tis the season. 

I was watching the 2011 Kennedy Center Honors on television this week, which I do every year, and was incredibly moved by every honoree and performing tribute. Artists are a beautiful species. One of this years honorees was cellist Yo Yo Ma. He can move, inspire and motivate with his music, passion, presence and words. There were two things he said in an interview that gave me the courage, comfort and reassuring "me too", "it's OKAY to feel this way", continue on the artistic path, along with a new resolution:

"I'm not brave. I'm actually pretty scared a lot of the time but I must like being scared because I keep doing things that scare me."

"Every day I make an effort to go toward what I don't understand."

                                                                                                                                          Yo Yo Ma

SPEND LIFE WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU HAPPY, NOT WHO YOU HAVE TO IMPRESS.

                                                                                                                            - unknown

WISHING YOU A HAPPY, PEACEFUL, HEALTHY, PROSPEROUS AND ART FILLED LIFE 

IN 2012. 

NOW RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO THE NEW YEAR!!!! HERE HERE.

Learning the Art to Staying Afloat

Every year Chicago kicks off the holiday season with the Magnificent Mile Festival of Lights Parade that goes down Michigan Avenue. I generally try to avoid this parade like the plague because it makes me feel very claustrophobic. It attracts soooooooooooo many people and it is near impossible to get anywhere, like home. This year I had a change of heart. Last Saturday I volunteered to be a participant as a balloon handler with some of my fellow coworkers. Can scratch that off my bucket list. Only 999 more to go.

Upon being introduced to The Nutcracker, I wasn't sure who was dreading this more, me or him. He was huge and required at least 12 people. From the looks of this behind the scenes prep picture, he was. I was getting a little nervous but excited. We were given instructions and had several rehearsal drills. Very fun.

 

We all reassured him it was going to be okay, buoyed this spirits, inflated his huge ego several times with more helium and carried him through until the end...literally. He was deflating from the waist down and had to be supported by fellow handlers from start to finish. I was off to the side of his right arm. I was able to use some of what I learned from sailing. We were hysterical the entire time and getting supportive and sympathetic cheers from the crowds.

We were on television and if you click here and fast forward up to 7 minutes you will see what I mean. Give it a moment to load. I am the third or fourth person on the left side of the screen with black pants & white gym shoes near 8-9 minutes. We were behind two American Idol singers and in case you were curious or had ANY doubts, they lip synched to their pre-recorded song and not very well I might add.

So what is the art to staying afloat? Especially this time of year. Is it A: uplifting drugs,  B: laughing when things go awry, C: surrounding yourself with supportive, experienced  people  D: not taking things too seriously.  You can answer that for yourself. :) 

The entire behind the scenes parade process was so fun and interesting. I really did learn a lot. I am a much better participant than spectator for this parade. Now to apply that same approach to art shows.

After we crossed the finish line, we deflated what was left of The Nutcracker and headed off to the Fairmont Hotel for drinks. We earned it.

Thank you Bill and Babs for signing me up and for sharing some of your pictures! It was also great to laugh and be around coworkers outside of work-Sharma!! and Jeannette!! I would definitely do this again.